Self esteem can be said to be the level of self worth. These 3 question says self esteem :
A) Who am I?
B) What am I ?
C) Why am I?
Self esteem meaning comprises of 7 Attributes:
1) Self Image: meaning how I see myself.
2) Self Concept : the general or abstract way I see myself.
3) Self Perception: how I consciously understand myself.
4) Self Confidence: my belief in my ability.
5) Self Acceptance : how I agree or satisfied or approve of my self unconditional.
6) Self Respect : how I highly regard, honor myself.
7) Self worth: the value I place upon myself.
All this these 7 Attributes together contribute to our self esteem
The Oxford English Dictionary defines self esteem as confidence in ones own worth and abilities.
Sociologist at University of Maryland defines it as a positive or negative orientation towards oneself.
From a Christian perspective, self esteem consists of a global evaluation or judgement about personal acceptance and worth to be Loved which carries with it pleasant and unpleasant feelings.
Self esteem contributes to our understanding of the way we view ourselves, the thought we have about ourselves and the value we pack on ourselves as people.
The qualities we assgin to ourselves whether good or bad reflect the overall opinion we have placed on our selves as person.
A negative tone communicates low self esteem. Eg: I am bad, am useless, am worthless etc
A positive tone say eg I am priceless, valuable, good, worthwhile , a blessing etc
A healthy self esteem is not natural given but a learnt behavior.
QUOTE FROM DR DESMOND KELLY (anxiety and depression expert)
WHAT WE LIVE WE LEARN
WHAT WE LEARN WE PRACTICE
WHAT WE PRACTICE WE BECOME
WHAT WE BECOME HAS CONSEQUENCES
Many of struggle with issues of self esteem often because of a misunderstanding about how Good would have us view ourselves.
Most of us struggle with the feeling of worthlessness at times and we may ask these questions:
Am I loved unconditionally?
Do I have any intrinsic worth?
What is healthy self esteem? It means aiming for a level of self worth and acceptance which keeps us functioning well in relation to yourself, others and God.
It is a level which enables us to reach our full potential as human beings to remain secure able to love and be loved.
The simple definition of Self esteem is an assurance of being lovable and loved with the ability to love in return
HOW SELF ESTEEM DEVELOPS
ourself esteem is like an internal commentator. It commentates every day.
The development of self esteem depends on the 3 areas :
1) our parents and families.
2) our life experiences.
3) our internal pressures ; our personal standards and expectations of life.
It's important to remember that NONE of us are the result of an accidental birth.
God Never Ever calls a birth an accident. He knew us before we came to be, He formed us and made us in our mothers womb ( Ps 139: 13-16).
He designed us with intricacy and intimacy.
Our parental upbringing could affect our self esteem through words either negative or positive.
If negative the words hurts us , it could be nicknames, occasional words of rebuke, humiliation that hurt our Spirit and soul. Then we carry those words or message with us for a long time, replaying them inside our heads especially if they are repeated often. Eg: you are stupid, useless, just like father of mother, mad etc.these words leaves us hurting with pains in our hearts.
Those negative words can hang over our heads like a dark shadow almost a curse for our whole lives unless we take steps to erase them and heal the pains.
We can start with a new box and ask what we would like to believe about ourselves and more importantly what God believe about us , we can start to fill the new box positively. With each deposit we begin to understand that we have BOX-LOADS of God's given words.
Note: life experiences like abuse, ( emotional, physical, sexual, etc) incidents causes damages that goes far to affect our self esteem.
THE QUESTION TO ASK YOURSELF
1) Why do l let others provide the mirror that determine our self image and value?
2) why do we draw conclusion about ourselves as we compare ourselves with others??
3) why do we let others determine your self worth?
Note: when you decide to treat urself with low self-esteem then you have set yourself up to become the victim of man possible consequences that aren't good.
CONSEQUENCES OF LOW SELF ESTEEM.
1) it's a negative vocabulary for ur mind to dwell on.
2) you lack inner peace and comfort.
3) You collect all kinds of rewards to prove ones worth.
4) Failure to be involved with others, you become a LONER.
5) You subject yourself to constant self criticism and rejection of self.
6) constantly trying to impress everyone.7) you always give negative react to compliments.
8) you become full of Bragging and self conciet.
9) you are always trying to out do the other person.
10) self indulgence.
11) too much emphasize on being confident.
12) Afraid if anyone is seeing you as you really are.
13) Placing impossible demand on urself etc.
God knows us differently
1) God doesn't value His creation as men value it.
2 He see the worth of every person.
3 You have worth God gave it to you
3 REASONS TO RAISE A SOUND PROPER SELF ESTEEM
1) THE TRUTH THAT WE ARE CREATED IN THE IMAGE OF GOD. GEN 1:26-27
2) THE FACT THAT GOD LOVES US . JOHN 3:16-17, ROM5:6-10.
3) THE PRICE CHRIST PAID FOR OUR REDEMPTION. 1PT 1: 18-19, REV 1:5
NO ONE CAN COMPLETELY BREAK AWAY FROM LOW SELF ESTEEM THEREFORE RECOGNIZE THIS AND INVITE GOD TO HELP YOU DEVELOP PROPER SELF ESTEEM, THROUGH BIBLICAL DIRECTION YOU CAN WIN OVER NEGATIVE SELF ESTEEM
Written by MRS ONOVO ONYINYE
SOME CONTENTS culled from the confident woman by Joyce Meryer